It’s all about trust
Here’s what happens. A couple comes to see me. They’re miserable: they’ve done things to hurt each other, and they’ve struggled and failed to solve their differences. And the first thing they say to...
View ArticleThe surprising economics of self-deception
Fasten your seat belts: this is going to be a little different and, I hope, a lot of fun. I know a guy whose marriage just blew up. I can’t go into the details but it’s a sad and harrowing story. Now...
View ArticleCan you ever say your marriage has it made?
It happens in our closest circle of friends and with the biggest celebrities: a couple announces they’re getting divorced and we feel a pain in our hearts. Marriage is hard, and hope can feel in short...
View ArticleCan you ever say your marriage has is made? Pt. 2
Last time we talked about the growing number of older people who are getting divorced. And at the end we said stay tuned: we had some good news and some useful news for you. But no bad news. (Which...
View ArticleCan you ever say your marriage has is made? Pt. 3
Last time we had more to say about the growing number of older people who are getting divorced. And we told the good news, which is that people are freer today than ever to get out painful, stressful...
View ArticleDoes having a more equal marriage mean having less sex?
There’s an article coming up in this Sunday’s New York Times Magazine that a lot of people will be talking about. I just have to share this with you, because a lot of people will be coming to the...
View ArticleYour Valentine’s Day questions ANSWERED
Ripped from the headlines, here are a series of questions about Valentine’s Day I recently answered. There’s a good chance that here you’ll find your Valentine’s Day problems solved. “Have you looked...
View ArticleFirst aid when you’re headed for a Valentine’s day disaster
It’s almost here! And V-Day disaster looms!! Time to panic!!! OR you could follow these quick first-aid tips. 1. When furious with each other—really stuck in your anger—and yet dread the thought of...
View ArticleThe root causes of marital satisfaction
There you are, at your wedding reception. You’re happy, probably stressed out, in love, a little drunk, looking forward to your honeymoon (you wouldn’t be the first person to see getting married as a...
View ArticleAll about EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON
People often ask us about one or another of our books, and so here begins an occasional series where we talk about a book we’ve written and why it might be of interest to you. Today I want to talk...
View ArticleAll about Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay
Last time we started an occasional series where we give you some of the inside dope about some of our books. Today we’re continuing, this time about one of our best-selling books, Too Good to Leave,...
View ArticleStress!
Yes. Stress does kill. It kills relationships. I am suddenly seeing this all over the place. Relationships chewed up into little pieces because one or both partners is over-burdened by stress....
View ArticleWhen GOOD people have affairs? Really?
Here we are, back with our occasional series on books we’ve written. (Here’s a previous entry.) This time I want to talk about a book I’m really proud of, one that’s helped a ton of people, one that...
View ArticleClimb inside the head of a couples therapist
I’ll be brief. (I know: that’s a first!) If you want to understand what’s going on in your relationship, as well as what a couples therapist is thinking about when she’s trying fix your relationship...
View ArticleWill your relationship last? Who cares!
Will your relationship last? Hmmm. Let me see… Uh…yes! Data just in: your relationship will last! Well, that was easy. Except, of course, as you well know, it ain’t that easy. There are no crystal...
View Article“But I thought we agreed that we’d…”
Let’s say that two people come together and form a committed relationship. And part of their shared understanding, their full and total agreement, is that they won’t have kids. Fine. Every couple is...
View ArticleIn praise of conscious uncoupling
I think I’m about to do something very bad. Or good. I don’t know. I can’t figure this stuff out. But I sort of get the sense that Gwyneth Paltrow isn’t cool but making fun of her is. Well, I say,...
View ArticleHappy marriages, happy cheaters?
We’ve all had this experience. You’re talking to someone who seems totally normal and reasonable, and suddenly they come forth with some facts and opinions that make you wonder if the two of you live...
View ArticleThe best good thing
List the 5 best things about you. Don’t bother writing them down. Don’t take any time. Just your quick take on this. What did you come up with? “I’m a good friend”? “I work hard”? “I’m a good...
View ArticleWhen your kid goes off to college, Pt. 1
It’s that time of year when acceptance letters from colleges start rolling (or trickling!) in. And it starts to become very real to the whole family: in just over four months little Bobby or Jenny,...
View Article